I struggle with being content.

A question I ask myself daily is, “If everything was taken away from, and all that was left was Jesus, would that be enough for me?” I ask myself that question because I struggle with being content. I say to myself, “If I had ______, then I would be content.” The problem with that statement though, I could have everything in the world, and still not be content. There is only one thing that can make me content, that can make me truly satisfied. Jesus.

Paul says this in Philippians, “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13

However, because of sin, a daily struggle for me is being content. I ask myself that question, and say, “Yes, Jesus alone is enough for me.” But then the next second, I say, “Well, If I just had _______, then Jesus would truly be enough for me.” So you see, it is an everyday battle for me. And I hate it. I really want Jesus alone to be enough for me, I strive to be fully satisfied in Him. But then I’ll see someone who has something that I don’t have, and immediately I’m discontent with my life. I’ll say, “God, why are you not giving _______ to me? Am I not doing something right? Why are you giving _______ to that person and not giving it to me?” It’s really silly that I would say something like that to God. Because I have no right to question why He is doing certain things in my life. He is God, and I’m not. But yet, I question Him all the time.

I question Him about my relationships, my career, my life right now, my life in the future, and everything else in between. Sometimes, I think, “I can do better at planning out my life than God can.” How crazy is it that I actually think that? I’m ashamed to admit that I actually think that. I’m such an impatient person, and when things do not happen right away, I get upset. I freak out. I question. I doubt. I lose hope. But yet throughout Scripture, we see countless verses and stories about people waiting.

David, who was anointed King of Israel around the age 15, didn’t actually become King until he was 30. During those 15 years, a lot of stuff went down. David fought Goliath, David made some friends and enemies, and to top it off, Saul was trying to kill David. It was a crazy 15 years for David. I think I would sum up those 15 years with one word, trust. David trusted God and the promise that God had made to him. Even with everything that was happening around David, he still trusted God. David knew that God’s promise to him would come through, regardless of how long it took.

David wrote this in Psalm 27:14, “Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!”  There isn’t an exact date of when this Psalm was written, but there are many scholars who place it in the area of 1 Samuel 21 & 22. In the middle of those 15 years, and while he is running from Saul, he says this. Twice in one verse, “Wait for the Lord” He trusted God, no matter what.

I will probably always struggle with being content. But the struggle is good because it pushes me to Jesus. It pushes me to always look at Him. I have to rely on Him every second of the day. The struggle reminds to be content in Jesus, without the struggle, I would not seek Jesus. So if you struggle with being content too, don’t worry, it’s a reminder for you to be content in Jesus. To seek Him. To push towards Him.

“And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13

2 thoughts on “I struggle with being content.

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